Virtual Entrepreneur

How To Get Rich Or Not

Among all the sites and blogs that teach you how to get rich, The Rich Jerk’s one is for sure the most creative:

Don’t Waste My Time…
Let’s get something straight. I am a jerk. I am obnoxious. I am lazy. And I don’t care, because I am FILTHY RICH. I am much too important to even be sitting here writing this right now. So I’ll keep it short. I make several million dollars every year on the internet, doing almost nothing. Heard that before? Well you can see proof of my earnings here. Have you seen proof like that anywhere else? Didn’t think so. Do you make that much money? Didn’t think so.

I’m the real deal. Whether you like it or not, you want to be rich like me, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. And since you are here, I’m sure you already know that there are thousands of ‘get rich quick’ programs on the internet today. You’ve probably even bought some of them yourself. Well, are you impressed with them? I’m not. Not even close. What proof do these losers have of their earnings? That they make a few thousand dollars a month? Big deal. I make millions. And I barely even do anything to earn it. It’s so automatic it would make you sick.

So Who the Hell am I?
I’m the guy you see driving down the street in a Ferrari with the top down, and you think to yourself, ‘What an ass!’ And you know what? You’re right. But so what? Do you think I really value your opinion? I’m a rich jerk, so I couldn’t care less. I cut through the BS. If you find me offensive, obnoxious, or whatever… feel free to leave my website at anytime. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to show you EXACTLY how I make millions. It’s no secret that I’m selling something here. And when you see what I’m offering, you will be blown away… Don’t stop…

But if you want to learn How Not To Make Money Online, you got to read The Poor Jerk, The Rich Jerk Parody:

I’m Not a Rich Jerk
You must be thinking, yet another jerk? You’re right. I am a jerk. Not a rich jerk, but a poor jerk. I am annoying too. But I don’t care, because I am dirt poor. You know what is the difference between me and the Rich Jerk? He’s rich and I’m not. It’s that simple, but we’re both still jerks. I do not know how to make money online like the Rich Jerk. I will never make a million dollars a year on the internet like the Rich Jerk, doing almost nothing. The fact is, I have lost a ton of money on the internet, doing everything!

Whether you know it or not, you’re better than me. You don’t want to be poor like me, and thats why you’re here. I’m here to show you EXACTLY how to become poor on the internet, as I’ve done over the last 8 years. What I will show you can be quite shocking. But I’ll let you decide on that. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes. Maybe you just want to read about poor people. I bet you’re thinking i’m not worth it because I have nothing better to do then to waste time writing stuff like this for you to read.

So Who am I?
I’m the guy you see on the street standing by the intersection at a red light. I’m the guy with my face all dirty with ripped up clothes, and you think to yourself, poor guy. And you know what? You’re right. I am poor. Very poor. But I don’t care. Do you really think I care about what you say? I’m not a rich jerk. I’m a poor jerk and I got nothing to lose. If you find me offensive, annoying, or whatever… then give me a dollar and 7 cents so I can eat a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger (cost 99 cents + 8 cents sales tax = $1.07). I will promise to stop bugging you. Until next day that is, when i’m out at the same intersection again.

But you know what, I work hard when I stand out in the streets. In fact, i’m quite eager to be outside everyday to see new people. I’m not lazy like the Rich Jerk, doing almost nothing. I’ve done many things to become a poor jerk. I spent a whole day sitting here writing this. I could have been receiving $1.07 cents from many nice people already.

So I’m not lazy. Just a poor jerk. But I do hate the Rich Jerk. He’s the guy driving down my intersection in a Ferrari with the top down. He doesn’t even look at me. I wasn’t always poor you know. And I wasn’t always a jerk either. I think being poor made me a jerk. Or was it a being a jerk made me poor. Oh well, it doesn’t matter. It’s okay for now. I don’t have to go to work 9-5 like most people. No pressure from the big boss. I just stand out on the streets and work my own hours. I get plenty of vacation days each year - on days that rain. (…)