Virtual Entrepreneur

Dating and Mating in America:
If you’ve ever dated, married or been interested in an entrepreneur, you know that they think, act and relate differently than the average Joe of Joette. Sometimes that can be a challenge for the non-entrepreneur — especially one who doesn’t realize that they aren’t crazy, they just need to think… sideways… to get through to their sweetie.

Having been raised by an entrepreneur, having been an entrepreneur, having dated entrepreneurs and looking at what’s happening in our economy… I thought it might be helpful to write a post about how to spot the TRULY self-employed (not the one who just says they do xyz but have no numbers to back it up), how to figure out if you are suited to date one, how to communicate with one and how to survive the ups and downs that happen in EVERY entrepreneur’s life.

How to Spot Em (this is based on the typical entrepreneur. At times a newly successful business owner might shoot the curve by going bling or an old schooler may decide to take a break… but if you look carefully, these attitudes will still be there)

1. Careful about money. Yup, if you are planning to date a business owner, be prepared to be picked up in a practical and non-flashy car… go to dinner at places with good food but not over the top, eat in as much as you eat out (if not more) and live in a reasonably sized house in a good part of town (likely with fixer-upper projects needing completion). Any successful business owner keeps an eye on the bottom line and always calculates the cost analysis. Don’t be surprised if you get in a fight and s/he flings a number out at you about how much you have cost them (in terms of money earning time or actual $$).

2. Careful about time. Entrepreneurs tend to get up early and stay up late. You’ll likely see a comfy couch in their office — short naps are the backbone of most of the successfully self-employed. They squeeze in emails, calls and deals in between bites of dinner and trips to the bathroom. If they see it as a “waste of time,” they’ll be grumpy if not allowed to cut free and move onto something deemed productive. It can become a balance issue, and likely ends most relationships before they ever get off the ground… but if you can talk to your entrepreneur and strike a bargain, you’ll come out a winner on all fronts. (see section on communication)

3. Competitive risk takers. Your honey will seem (to you) to be blase about risk. They aren’t. The risks are always calculated and analyzed (for the successful entrepreneur) but for someone who isn’t used to free falling, it can be scary. They are also extremely competitive. Family game time can get a bit hairy and most will use the rare free time competing in their favorite venue… be it sports, gaming, gambling, whatever.

4. Loners. Yup. You might have a hard time getting your honey out of the house once they get home for time to relax. Some do a good job putting on a social face, especially if it means networking, but know that your entrepreneur will not be someone who follows the pack. If the rest of the world thinks one way, your honey will likely think exactly the opposite or between the lines or even off into the future to see some eventual possibility most could never imagine.

5. Business minded to the point of scanning every environment you are in for business ideas or drifting off after you tell them something random and swimming back into the conversation after turning your random comment into a business application. They are also problem solvers in the extreme and will simply not understand you wanting to talk thru something without coming to a solution. If you need them to stop problem solving for you, be direct and tell them so. It may take some getting used to, but when they begin to see that you solve your own problems in your own time frame, they will generally lay off and let you do your own thing.

6. Tend to be honest and direct. Many are people that are trusted with handshake deals. If your entrepreneur is at all community minded, you’ll find them attracting and collecting people a lot like them.

7. If you are trying to figure out if s/he’s the real deal ask yourself one question… do they have a “side job” that contributes a good part of their income? Most of my entrepreneur friends will tell you that no true business owner/starter has the time or inclination for splitting their heart between two jobs. Their business is their baby and everything goes into that.

Ok, so you now know how to profile a successful entrepreneur, are you well suited to date one?

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